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 Letter 4 — 14th December 2020: The Flight Over Shimla, and My Heart at Home

Dear Mamma,

I’m writing this just after returning from Bangalore. I missed you so much the entire way back home—it was as if your voice was echoing inside me throughout the journey.

The flight was smooth until we reached Chandigarh. The pilot announced, “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, the airport is a little busy so we haven’t received landing permission. We’ll need to circle for a few more minutes. Right now, we’re flying over Shimla. Please enjoy the beautiful view of the mountains.”

And in that moment, I looked down and saw the majestic hills of Shimla beneath me. I smiled and thought—one day, once things settle, I will bring Mamma here. We’ll go to Shimla together. All of us—Dilip, Tejas, you, Papa—we will go on a peaceful trip and make joyful memories. Dilip is so caring and gentle, Mamma. You both will enjoy his company so much. You’ll feel as if you’ve found a son, not just a son-in-law.

I have about a month before I shift to Bangalore permanently, so I need to wrap up everything in Yamuna Nagar. Tejas too needs to understand and prepare for the change. But I was feeling happy—because after so long, Tejas finally has someone he can call his father. That thought brings peace to my heart.

The flight eventually landed in Chandigarh, and I took the bus to Yamuna Nagar. It was around 9 PM when I finally reached home. You opened the door, Mamma, and your face lit up when you saw me. That moment—your joy, your hug, your warmth—I’ll never forget it.

But I also saw something else in your eyes… a quiet sadness. As if deep down, you were beginning to realise that I would soon be leaving. That your daughter, your little girl, might not be by your side every day anymore.

But you’re wrong today, Mamma. I may shift to another city. I may live in another home. But I will never leave you.

Yes, sometimes we have difficult moments. Sometimes you feel pain, and I feel helpless. Sometimes I get tired, and sometimes we even argue. But even in those moments—I want to be the one caring for you, loving you, bathing you like you bathed me when I was small. I want to be the one preparing food for you, inventing new recipes just to see you smile—just like you did for us all your life.

You are not a chapter I’m moving on from, Mamma.
You are the story I live in. You are home.

I love you endlessly, and my heart aches even as I write this. But know this always—I may travel, I may move, but my love for you will never change. I am always yours.

With all my love,
Your daughter

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